It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
