Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
