Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
