the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Did you just see the Batmobile???
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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