lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
