right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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