please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
