Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Randomize
