k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
