brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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