talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
