i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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