How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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