five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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