dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
