i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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