I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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