i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
