PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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