fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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