I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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