Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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