He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
