My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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