I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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