He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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