im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
