Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
