I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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