I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
