is your mom at the bar?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
