Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
