I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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