he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
