so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
