We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
should my penis look like a turkey
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
