Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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