I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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