Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
