He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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