Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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