i don't plan on having that self control this summer
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
