You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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