"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Randomize
