lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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