i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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