girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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