I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Every concussion has its silver lining
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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