so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
