youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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