Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
