Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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