FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
